Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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