I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
All I want is dick and wine.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
