I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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