you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize