How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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