Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
