well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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