Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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