Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
