My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
its liver damage thursday
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