This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
