Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
