I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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