We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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