and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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