yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
