so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sober January is a disaster.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
