I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize