I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
