i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
