He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am mentally ready for anal.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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