his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
