I just saw a hot homeless man
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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