I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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