There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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