I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
