Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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