I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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