Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
