At least make sure they are 18
Why
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
