Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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