took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
