all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
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I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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