I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
