I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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