I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Your cock deserves a montage
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
