There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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