Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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