I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
