I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize