And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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