2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
