I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
