tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize