You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
