My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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