Me too!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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