He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize