y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize