All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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