If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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