New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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