Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
