BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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