My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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