so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
