Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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